He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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