The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize