You just made me feel so damn special
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize