she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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