I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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