How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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