u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
