Non-Jews are for practice
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
