Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
