this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize