dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
