Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wear drunk well.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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