and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
