I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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