There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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