We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize