i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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