So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
