I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My bed smells like the plague
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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