Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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