I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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