i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
