this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
