You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
