that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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