She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
