Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
