So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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