After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
