you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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