I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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