It's Friday. Sex?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
