I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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