marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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