Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize