And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
