I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
