I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize