Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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