What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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