i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
