lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
