I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
