No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
