also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
