You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
