So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
