i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
