Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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