Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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