So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
