How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
that may or may not have been my penis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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