You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
