Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
