So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize