you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
