He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
